Do I have to?

I knew it was going to happen. I did it. My wife did it. I'm pretty sure you did it.

It was only a mater of time before one of our kids uttered the question some innocent Sunday morning. "Do I have to go to church?"

It actually happened some time ago with our oldest, now 11 years old. And yes, I felt like a bit of a failure as a parent. "How could my little baby say such a thing? What have I done to deserve this?" I got over it quickly. But when our four year old muttered the phrase recently, it kinda surprised me. How could she be so weak-willed to bow to the negative peer-pressure of her older sister? Monkey see, monkey do.

It surprised me also because she loves to sing at Mass, and participates well. Usually. Sometimes. Some weeks. She prays the Creed, so I'll take that as a sign that God's grace is at work.

From the first time the dreaded, "Do I have to?" came from the mouths of our children, I have deflected the complaint instead of meeting the conflict head on. I use language like, "We get to go to Church," instead of we have to go. It helps avoid much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Some of the sarcasm is lost on little ones, but I'll groan, "Oh no. The Creator of Universe loves me so much He died for me, and I have to spend an hour accepting His love and say, 'Thanks Jesus. Love ya too,' in my own wounded way." Then the eyes roll, so I know it hit home with the eldest.

Our Sunday obligation is too often misunderstood. We tend to see it as a rule we can rebel against. But really, it's a privilege that, as St. Paul expressed, is so tremendous our hearts, minds, souls—our very beings—compel us to act in some way (cf. 2 Cor 5:14). If we don't express our love and celebrate the day of the resurrection, something inside us will burst. If we don't celebrate the joy of the Spirit, the rocks will cry out on our behalf (cf. Luke 19:40).

I'm pretty sure it wasn't some rule that compelled the disciples to go back out preaching Jesus raised from the dead after getting beaten and thrown into prison, multiple times (cf almost all of the Acts of the Apostles).

I'm pretty sure the conversation did not go like this:

Thomas: Hey guys. This whole getting beaten thing sucks. Why don't we just call it quits. Jesus would never know.
James: And the prison food is not even close to Mom's cooking.
John: Maybe we can just say that Jesus was a really good guy. Maybe even a prophet.
Matthew: Yeah, people would buy that. At least it would be less painful for us.
Peter: But Jesus said we have have to. Ugh. So, I guess we have to. At least once a week for an hour.
Andrew: But I have to park my camel so far away, it's just horrible.

It's not fear or some sense of following rules that gets us to Mass on Sunday. It is (or at least should be) our love of Christ and our desire to grow in holiness, to grow closer to Him, to be with Him for eternity.

How are you, as a parent, modeling your Sunday obligation? Do you see it as a chore and find yourself thinking, "Move it along padre, the game starts in 10." Or do you present it as a joyful celebration in which we get to participate. Remember, your children are likely to follow your lead. Choose wisely. Act accordingly.

Lenten triple threat

Every young basketball player is taught the triple threat position—an offensive position in which you are prepared to do one of three things: pass, dribble/drive or shoot. It gives you and your team the best chance to score a basket.

I'm not sure if other sports use the same terminology, but the same principle applies for several team sports like hockey, soccer, lacrosse, etc. My soccer-playing son is learning he can no longer kick the ball and outrun everyone else to the other end and score. It's a lot easier to score when your team has the ball. And the best way to make that happen is to always be ready to dribble, pass or shoot, depending on the situation.

Lent is fast approaching, and it's time to think about or lenten triple threat: prayer, fasting and almsgiving.

With the end goal of growing in holiness in mind (and ultimately Heaven), our lenten triple threat will help us get ready to celebrate the resurrection at Easter.

Prayer focuses our minds and hearts on God. It helps us realize we are part of a team (a.k.a. the communion of saints), and listening to our coach and supporting that team is how we can all grow in holiness, both indivudually and together.

Fasting helps us realize there are more important things (or a more important person) then our earthly possessions. A little sacrifice goes a long way in helping us understand the difference between wants and needs. We need sustenance. We want over-indulgance. We need God. We want a lot of other things, toys and electronic gadgets. Learning a little discipline, self-control and sacrifice (with the help of a little thing called grace) helps us appreciate the difference and put things in perspective.

Almsgiving helps us just as much as it helps other. We realize our interdependence as a community—we rely on God, others rely on us and we rely on others. We all must play our part responsibly in our interconnected web if we are to achieve our goal of holiness.

One great thing that makes our lenten triple threat better than any sports triple threat is the fact we aren't limited to one option at any given time. We can, and should, practice all three together.

What spiritual practices are part of your lenten triple threat this year?